The Rules for submissives
BDSM is becoming one of the most popular sex practices. Even though we still have many prejudices about it, people started to gradually break them down. There were times when BDSM was considered too kinky and bizarre, unethical, and brutal, and this is just the tip of the iceberg of negative emotions towards it.
But now you can see that BDSM porn sites and blogs concerned with this topic are much visited. More people are opening their minds and feeling like trying BDSM.
After all, the basics become too old after a while, and isn’t life all about exploring? We must try new things, discover new sides of ourselves, and simply get out of our comfort zones and get rewarded.
And if you are one of those people still finding BDSM a big taboo, you should know that this practice is much more ethical than many other categories in porn. And do you know why it is healthy, beneficial, and gratifying?
Because of the rules!
There are certain rules for submissives, for lovers that are ready to conform and obey. Now, you should know that every D/s relationship is different and unique. These rules will not always be the same.
If you read articles about it, try to inform yourself by asking people you know and simply read and learn about this topic wherever you can, you will read totally different things.
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Some rules are more extreme, other BDSM relationships are milder, and submissives only have a few things to think about. In this article, we will mention a little bit of everything.
From the least to the most extreme, we think you should know something about all sorts of BDSM agreements. Which rules should you choose for yourself? The ones appealing to you the most.
Using Their Safe Words
One of the most important rules for submissives is using safe words when they are not okay with a certain act. In every D/s relationship, safe words are a must. Submissives do not have to do everything just because they choose to be compliant.
Even when you are the passive and obedient one in the relationship, you should respect yourself and set boundaries. Sometimes your Dom will try to force action on you or make you do something that feels uncomfortable. Sure, as a sub, you are here to learn to be more disciplined. This means sometimes you will simply have to try more unpleasant things, maybe do something you would never normally do. But it still does not mean you have to do literally everything you are asked to.
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Every sane Dom who cares about your feelings will want you to use your safe words. You should use these without fear whenever something feels like it is too much. Even if you feel you must use these words often, that is fine. You have to be safe and confident in this relationship, and you have to respect and love yourself first. If your Dom is not okay with safe words and they do not want to hear about them, they are not a good Dom, and you must run away from that person!
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Using safe words is probably the first rule to focus on. Everything else comes after that. While rules are never the same, and some Doms prepare contracts with hundreds of rules, this rule should always be on the list! Some Doms will only have this one rule. Some Doms only ask you to smile and use safe words. Every Dom comes with their own set of rules and traits.
Using The Proper Honorifics and Grooming Themselves
A common rule in a D/s relationship is to use the honorifics and titles you agree upon. Your Dom will ask you to call them Sir, Master, or whatever title they choose. You can be the slave, pet, princess/prince, kitten – whatever you two together come up with. Some Doms will not need special honorifics and titles, but in most cases, they expect to be called certain names. This is an indication of ownership. As someone’s sub, you agree to be owned by that person. That is why many subs are okay with the nickname sex slave.
Another very common rule is that submissives always have to groom themselves to please their Doms. It is not just about grooming. Some Doms will choose clothes and hairstyles for you, and they dictate your appearance.
Many Doms will prefer shaved private parts, but some of them like hairy ones. Again, this depends on what they are prone to. But as a sub, you will probably have to buy clothes and makeup that your Dom prefers. When they want you in a fancy outfit, you must respect that. Sometimes they will just want you in sexy underwear. The important thing here is to look nice and presentable for your dominant.
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Being Honest and Open-Minded
This is one of the tenets of BDSM. A big prejudice is that BDSM is very unhealthy because why would someone torture themselves to feel pleasure? But here is the thing… Not everyone has an open mind to a practice of this kind. When there is consent, there is always a healthy relationship.
The crucial thing is to be honest with yourself and your lover. We torture ourselves every day, physically and psychologically, and most people are not even aware of it. We either torture our minds with stress, overthinking, and choosing to think only about negative things… Or we torture our bodies by eating unhealthily, not being physically active enough, and so on. There are just so many ways to torture ourselves! But when you practice BDSM, you are aware of your actions.
It is scientifically proven that pain and pleasure go together perfectly. Many people have an even more powerful euphoric finish after feeling some pain. To some people, it just works. They get a kick out of BDSM acts; it turns them on more and brings them more significant sensations…
But whatever you do, you just have to be honest with yourself. Do what gets you going and off. In BDSM, you cannot be narrow-minded and someone who keeps lying to yourself. If there is something you hate about it, you have to speak up. And the whole point of this practice is to experience something new, different, and unique, something that broadens your mind… That is why so many people do it.
But do not just try BDSM if your dominant is too hot! That is wrong. You have to do it to please yourself, and you must always like everything your Dom is doing to you. Be honest – what is it that you need here?
A part of BDSM that is the most exciting to many is punishment. This is also why many never want anything to do with BDSM! When a sub is not obedient enough, they have to be punished. It is how it goes. If they are not, how can they learn to be disciplined? So, punishment is an integral part of this practice. As a submissive, you have to be willing to receive it.
Of course, nothing too brutal unless you are okay with it. This is where you will have to use your safe words. Sometimes Doms will have to punish you more severely to enforce discipline.
They may spank you, whip you, make you postpone your orgasm… But even when they want to punish you, you do not have to say yes to everything. Still, you also have to be okay with some of it. You chose BDSM to learn how to be disciplined and compliant, and if you resist the punishment, you cannot learn these things.
Available When the Dom Needs It
When someone owns you, you accept that this person possesses you. This means that whenever they need you, you have to be there for them. If they want to have sex with you on Saturday, this is when you will have to do it. No excuses, no feeling under the weather; you are at their disposal whenever they call you. It is one of the rules, and it is a bit more extreme. You have to say goodbye to your freedom and free will and unconditionally be whoever your Dom needs you to be.
Sometimes you will have to have sex when you are not feeling like it. They will make you use sex toys you do not want to or go places you do not want to be. But it is all a part of the game.
It is all about learning how to conform and accept everything enforced on you. It is not always easy. When you sign the contract and agree to be treated like your wishes and necessities do not matter, it will probably make you feel bad. But this is a more extreme rule, do not forget it. Only some Doms will enlist it, and you never have to sign anything you do not believe in.
Accepting That the Orgasms Belong to The Dom
This is not always one of the rules, but it can be. Some Doms want to control their sub’s orgasms. This means that as a sub, you cannot cum when you want to.
Your Dom is in charge of your climax, and you must postpone it or not have it at all if they say so. This can be very unpleasant. Ruined and delayed orgasms can be torture, especially when they are so powerful. But it is one of the ways to learn how to control yourself.
Not every Dom will want you to suffer this much. Then again, some Doms will make you suffer even more. When you read articles about BDSM, this rule often appears in the texts. As someone’s sex slave, you accept that your pleasure is not yours.
Doms control every sensation that their subs have. Sometimes Doms do not let you finish to punish you. But you also have cases in which you just have to ask them for permission to culminate. They will probably allow it to you.
Sending Doms Sexy Clips and Photos
Not every Dom will have too many weird rules. Some will ask you to go to kinky events with them and show up where they want you to be seen. But others have one simple rule – just send them your pics and clips when you masturbate.
It is enjoyable for both you and them, and here you just need to trust your Dom that they will not share your smutty content on the web. But if you sign a contract with them, a thing like this is usually in it.
Maybe your Dom will ask you to use a certain sex toy when you masturbate and send them photos. A rule can be to listen to your Dom. To please them by following their commands. Maybe this will be very enjoyable, or they will make you do something less pleasant. Some Doms will want to control your purchases, which can also be a rule.
They can control who you meet, where you go, what you buy, and pretty much everything. Of course, this is not always a rule. Not all Doms want to be too demanding and controlling, and they do not even have time. But if you practice more extreme BDSM, these are some things you can expect.
What do you think about these rules? Are you okay with them? They are not for everyone, especially not some more extreme sides of BDSM. But here you have a list of some common rules, and they differ from one BDSM relationship to another.
When someone is a sub, they have to follow the rules because it is all a part of the game. Sometimes it is hard, but it can be very rewarding, do you agree?
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